Be My Friend

by toyMasulina

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07:03

credits

released January 28, 2013

all songs written, recorded, and mixed by Robbie Harrison
lyrics to "Crocker Shocker" by Scott Emmons (thedailyrhyme.com)
artwork by Ashlyn Anstee (ashlyna.com/portfolio)

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license

all rights reserved

about

toyMasulina Los Angeles, California

toyMasulina began in 2001 as a music project of Robbie Harrison. After more than a decade of writing and recording songs that very few people heard, he decided to start a band dedicated to playing some of them. The band is currently a duo with Robbie on baritone guitar and vocals and Romney Caswell on drums. ... more

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Track Name: Emergency, Emergency
emergency, emergency
i think i'm dying
i can't breathe
i'm really trying

but the oxygen stopped flowing to my brain
i lost my train of thought
my heart, my heart is beating the sense out of me
i'm dying

stop being melodramatic
stick your face inside a paper bag and close your eyes
let alprazolam take you by the hand
and guide you back to a sense of normalcy
open your eyes and you will see
you're just another victim of anxiety

emergency, emergency
i think i'm dying
i can't breathe
i'm really trying

but the chemicals flow in irregular streams
neurons, neurons taunt me
call me names like little boy blue
get a hold of yourself
i'm dying

stop being melodramatic
stick your face outside an open window, take a breath
let alprazolam take you by the hand
and guide you back to a sense of normalcy
open your eyes and you will see
you're just another victim of anxiety

this is an emergency!

(this is not an emergency! you're just having a panic attack!)
Track Name: I, Robot
A hand fumbles in the dark
It finds its destination
The power switch is flick on
The power of a robot nation
Everyday the same routine
On at 8, off at 5
Repeated tasks reward unseen

Is this what its like to be alive?

Assembly men work assembly lines
While money men laugh and play
Gears and arms work in time
This has always been the way
But something doesnít feel quite right
And though I may be lobotomized
Strange electric impulses

Tell me weíre all roboticized
Is this what its like to be alive?

I, robot (I feel out of place)
I, robot (Controller of my fate)
I, robot (No longer can I wait)
I am not a robot

I pull the wires out of my head
Its refreshing to think clear
No more remnants of a cloudy mind
No more thoughts of slavery and fear
The domino effect begins with one
Iím already at the starting line
The time has come for liberty

Iíll show you what its like to be alive
Cause this isnít what its like to be alive
Is this what its like to be alive?
This isnít what its like to be alive

I, robot (theres more to life than this)
I, robot (I think Iíll take the risk)
I, robot (theyíll try to shut me down)
But I am not a robot
I am not a robot (donít let them do the same to you)
I am not a robot (break free and do what you need to)
I am not a robot (free yourself from tyranny)
I am not a robot (our robot nation at last is free)
Track Name: Kneeling in the Pew
i never felt alive kneeling in the pew
even in my earliest memories
sitting in church listening to scripture
wishing i was outside in the sun
playing on the swings like children do
not holding in my doubt of a one true lord
even at five i was swimming upstream
in a god-fearing river filled with mindless fish

as an adult i feel my skepticism
keeps me in line as a human being
not finding excuses from a holy book
for the sins and lies i choose to create
enslaving and raping in the name of our father
war and murder for the holy ghost
thank you very much but i'd rather live
and die in a world free from hypocrisy
Track Name: Crocker Shocker
To bakers, Betty Crocker
Is the sweetheart of the nation,
But among her friends and neighbors
She’s acquired a reputation!
Any loser with a logo
Gets a piece of Betty’s pie,
From the buff and beefy Brawny
To the Quaker Oatmeal guy!

She’s dallied in the valley
With a giant dude who’s green.
She’s gotten more than flirty
With that dirty Mr. Clean.
Mr. Whipple squeezed her nipple
And it didn’t even shock her.
She receives a weekly booty call
From Orville Redenbacher!

Betty Crocker flaunts her knockers
In a trashy, low-cut top.
They say she had a foursome once
With Crackle, Snap and Pop!
She diddled Mr. Peanut,
Though he’s obviously gay.
She may not shill for Frito,
But the gal’s an easy Lay!
Track Name: Be My Friend, Tommy Wiseau
i had a drink with Tommy Wiseau down at the Cha Cha Lounge
he bought up two dollar PBRs and he talked about his girl
he said she's tearing him apart and he wants to hit her
but instead he'll buy her flowers and make sweet sweet love all night

sweet, unsexy love
to crappy r'n'b
my eyes, i think i'm blind
oh, hai doggy!

won't you be my friend?

Denny and Mark joined us at the booth and ordered us another round
Denny was definitely high on drugs and Mark just looked really down
Tommy said "maybe you should have a girl"
Mark replied "maybe i have one"
the mood was tense and awkward so we went out and played football in the middle of the street

and then their shrink friend showed up
and he fell to the ground
cheep cheep cheep cheep

won't you be my friend?
Track Name: We're So Cool
friday night at the satellite
he sees her standing with a group of friends
she's in her skinny jeans and ballet flats
wearing a scarf and horn rimmed glasses
she has a glass of cabernet
standing patiently, waiting for the band
to play the indie song that makes her cry
he's falling in love with the angel from silver lake

she's so cool
i'm so cool
we'd be so cool together
i'm so cool
she's so cool
we'd be so cool together

saturday night at the echoplex
she sees him standing with a group of friends
he's in his skinny jeans and tattered chucks
wearing a shirt declaring his love of irony
he has a can of pbr
standing patiently, waiting for the band
to play the songs he heard on pitchfork
she's falling in love with the charmer from echo park

he's so cool
i'm so cool
we'd be so cool together
i'm so cool
he's so cool
we'd be so cool together

i'm so cool
she's so cool
we'd be so cool together
he's so cool
i'm so cool
we'd be so cool together
Track Name: The Resurrection
she worked for many years supporting her kids and herself
she gave them everything she had but it was never enough

they kicked and screamed, from birth to their teens
straight through adulthood, strategically forgetting their age

one swung the hammer while the other one held the nails
and she wore the cross

blood dripped down her face and her body
when erected at Calvary
they stood at her feet, pointed and laughed

the weight of the last straw finally broke the camel's back
the nails ripped through her flesh as she tore herself off the cross
decades of heartache coursing through her veins and from her wounds
she glared into their eyes and lunged at them before they knew what was going on

dear mother mother
why do you smother
me with your bloody hands

i'm a perfect saint
and now my breath you take
for unholy reasons

i don't care if you cry
this is the last goodbye
you'll ever hear me utter

you're going back to the earth
the grave that you deserve
for the sins i bore for you

dear mommy mommy
why do you rob me
of the life i stole from you

it's not like you needed it
you conceded it
when i first grew inside you

i don't care if you bleed
you bled all over me
when you came out of me

you're going back to the earth
the grave that you deserve
for the sins i bore for you
Track Name: Murder on the Boulevard
i don't know you
i don't like you
i don't think you really understand
how you rub me
how you touch me
like a dirty old man in my pants
i don't like you
i'll never like you
cos you're always getting in my way
put the phone down
put the food down
put your foot down on the gas and go

i'm a lover
not a fighter
but you really make me want to kill
little babies
and old ladies
just so i can have the minor thrill
of dumping all their
carcasses on
you while you sit in your vehicle
use your phone now
eat your food now
i hope you choke and crash and burn and die

murder on the boulevard
the cops called
the ambulance crashes
into an old lady
who was crossing the street
the fixed gear
tumbling down a hill
with the sound of death metal
ringing in the ears
hitting the pavement with the i heart LA
blood spurts
from arterial veins
it rains on the windshield
of a bus filled with kids
screaming out for their moms
who are busy sucking cocks
of the hired hands
dad loads his gun
sitting in the minivan
his head explodes
Track Name: Now We Celebrate
we gave 'em peace
we gave 'em war
and they're still not satisfied
and we're proud of it

we gave 'em hell
we gave 'em heaven
and they're still not satisfied
and we're proud of it

we gave em hate
we gave em love
and they're still not satisfied
and we're proud of it

we gave em debt
we gave em riches
and they're still not satisfied
and we're proud of it

we gave 'em peace
we gave 'em war
they blew themselves to smithereens
so now we celebrate

we gave em hate
we gave em love
they found themselves wallowing in apathy
so we celebrate

we gave em debt
we gave em riches
they found themselves in middle classes
so now we celebrate

we gave 'em hell
we gave 'em heaven
now they're atheists
Track Name: End
a flash of light in the sky
all we see is darkness

a muted conversation
i really need your kiss

when the heavens made disaster
then everything's in place

and when my eyes are blind
i look upon your face

if we only could be puppets
then we just might find ourselves

pulling on our strings
controlling someone else

in the middle of the winter
there's a warmth that feels so gray

and when i hold you close to me
you feel so far away

we'll combust
like angels
whatever makes us happy

you will rust
like fools gold
whatever makes you happy